Bryant "Big Country" Reeves- Center, Oklahoma State
Recruited to OSU by the great Bill Self, Reeves was given the fitting nicknamed after being awestruck by his first airplane ride as a college freshman. He's from the country and he's a really big fuckin dude. The nickname seems to work. Plus he was a pretty badass collegiate player, averaging 21.5 a game his senior year and leading OSU to the '95 Final Four. The Grizzlies made him their first ever No. 1 pick and Big Country rode a few years of succes into a $61 million dollar deal. Not bad for a kid from Podunk, Arkansas.
Larry "Granmama" Johnson
I still haven't figured out how L.J. got this nickname, but I bet there's an awesome reason. Maybe he'd beat someone's grandma tto get good rebounding position? The high-flying Runnin Rebel enforcer parlayed an impressive career at UNLV into a nice long NBA career. Always a favorite on NBA Jam, L.J. was consistently one of the biggest badasses in the NBA, before retiring and achieving his undergrad degree at UNLV. Possible career pinnacle: Playing his alter-ego "Granmama on an episode of Family Matters.
Earvin "Magic" Johnson
Dubbed in 2007 by ESPN as the greatest point guard of all time, Magic really needs no introduciton by The Steroid Era and his accomplishments, awards and accolades are too many to name here, so let's get to the important stuff: the nickname. Believe it or not, Magic garnered the name in HIGH SCHOOL, as a SOPHOMORE when he recorded a triple double 36, 18 and 16. The local sports writer gave the East Lansing standout the moniker that year. It takes most guys til college to get such a great nickname. Magic did it when he was 15, isn't that way cooler than an NBA MVP award?
Jim Catfish Hunter
Ol' Catfish ended up winning 5 titles with the A's and Yanks, won a Cy Young, went to several all-star games, threw a perfect game and had an awesome mustache. But all that pales in comparison to his nickname. This gem was produced by A's owner Charlie Finley but is actually all a SHAM. Finley told the young pitcher he needed a nickname, then proceeded to create a fictitious story about a young Hunter catching a large catfish. Ol' Catfish repeated the story and the name stuck. Does the sham reduce the "cool" factor of the nickname? Not in the least, hell was Larry Johnson a Granmama?
Ernie "Mr. Cub" Banks
We here at the Steroid Era love the Cubs. Could we be a bit biased? Sure. But in an age where good players will play for the local softball team for the right amount of money (see: Adam Dunn) and whore themselves out with total disregard for team loyalty and pride, there should be some value in Ernie's nickname. Mr. Banks spent his entire Hall of Fame career with the Cubs, generally embodying the utmost loyalty for Chicago's Northsiders. The nickname speaks for itself and is greatly deserved and should be ultimately respected. No jokes here, we love Mr. Cub
Darrell "Dr. Dunkenstein" Griffith
This is just too damn sweet. Dr. Dunkenstein? High flyers around the country would kill for a name like this. I mean, you hear Dr. Dunkenstein and images of 48" verticals dance in your head. Besides incredible aerial exploits, Darrell had one hell of a career. Won an NCAA title in 1980 with Denny Crum and the Louisville Cardinals, NBA rookie of the year, Wooden Award. But he spent his entire career with the Jazz. If not for Dr. Dunkenstein would you remember him? Doubtful. This is definitely one of the most creative nicknames ever, definitely way cooler than fellow high flyer Darrell "Chocolate Thunder" Dawkins's candy bar nickname.
"Never Nervous" Pervis Ellison
Inside the last few minutes/innings of ANY semi important sporting event the topic of performance under pressure gets beaten to death by the likes of Joe Buck, Marv Albert, and Billy Packer. But is there anything more respectable in sports than the ability to perform under pressure? Maybe because one was never nervous? Boom!! (sparking my inner John Madden) There it is, the meaning to Mr. Ellison's well earned nickname. How you might ask, did ol' Pervis garner such a distinguished name? Maybe by becoming the first freshman since 1944 to win the Final 4 Most Outstanding Player award while leading the Louisville Cardinals to their second title in the 80's. I'd venture a guess that Never Nervous has some pretty grandes cajones since he won such an award as a FRESHMAN.
Mickey "The Commerce Comet" Mantle
You know folks, I feel like we here at the Steroid Era may be using a little too much bias. Fuck it. We gotta go with the hometown hero. Growing up in the Columbus, KS ballpark we could not get enough Mickey stories about his heroics right there in Columbus. Well, hometown bias or not, we couldn't leave the Mick off the list. The name, simply enough, comes from his hometown of Commerce, Oklahoma. The nickname was made famous by the switch-hitting, base stealing, slick fielding outfielder that spent a career breaking records, breaking hearts, and probably several laws along the way. The Mick was the consummate party animal, definitely the Jason Giambi of the 60's (and we all know how much the Steroid Era loves Giambi) who was once known as saying "if I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." Don't sweat it Mick, you made the Hall, and had one hell of a time doing it.
Michael "Air" Jordan
Pretty damn easy to see why His Airnees got this name. He jumped really high, won a few games, made a few bucks, had a hot mistress, and won a dunk contest or two. What else can you say? A multi, multi, multi million dollar brand named AIR Jordan, the greatest player of all time. The only reason MJ didn't make top billing on this list is lack of creativity. Ok, I know, Air is perfect. But And1 high flyer "The Air Up There" has a better nickname and couldn't carry Air's jockstrap. Plus it sounds awkward just calling him "Air."
The Say Hey Kid
Every sports fan should know immediately Willie Mays. The original purveyor of the famous over the shoulder basket catch in the cavernous Polo Grounds, original home of the New York baseball Giants. One of the most important things about The Say Hey Kid: he shares the same birthday as me, the founder of The Steroid Era. Anyways, his numbers speak for themselves: 660 homers (4th all-time), MLB all-century team, Sporting News #2 player ever, one of four players ever to record 8 straight 100 RBI seasons. Now, on to our purposes. It seems our boy Willie came across the name simply because he couldn't remember people's names right when he came up to the bigs. He simply said "Say Hey" when addressing someone unknown. Alas, Willie's kind heart and generally congenial demeanor didn't transfer down to his Godson Barry Bonds. Oh well Willie, we still love you.
Now, we acknowledge we maybe missed a few. Say for instance, Wayne Gretzky. Nothing against Wayne, but "The Great One" is just too damn unoriginal. Did a 3 year old come up with it? Hell, Sidney Crosby's got a better nickname and he's been in the league for like 4 years. But i digress, we apologize for leaving off your favorite nickname, but to tell you the truth the Steroid Era is the Alpha and Omega and through that omniscience we determined these to be the top nicknames ever. Ever.
"The Big Unit" comes to mind after Randy Johnson's recent 300th win. You have to stop somewhere though, 10 seems like a logical place to stop to me.
ReplyDeleteI like what you have going here; you're writing some interesting and fun to read stuff. Keep up the good work.
Larry Johnson's nickname comes from a converse commercial where the shoes were so good "my grandmama could beat you in them. Larry also reprises this role in an episode of "Family Matters"
ReplyDeleteGood blog, I actually found it looking for some cool steriod names for baseball players.